I’ve debated whether to write this. Thought on it. Prayed about it. Been putting it off actually. I have a number of mixed emotions that I haven’t quite sorted out. You see, I think I’ve found the cause of my stroke. The thing is, there’s no way to prove anything.. and won’t be til we find out in Eternity. It’s all just speculation, though I confess, for me it’s a pretty settled thing in my thinking that this is the physical reason why I had a stroke. It’s the thing that makes the most sense to me anyways.
This isn’t a random article on the web. There’s dozens of similar articles from 2010-2011 based on sound research and study. It’s a very real thing. And I believe it’s the thing that happened to me. I had all the circumstances and symptoms present within the time-frame spoken of. I had 3 teeth extracted at one time, with lots of abnormally high levels of pain. My dentist told me that it was probably because the nerve was effected in the extraction. I was dealing with pain and inflammation and it not wanting to heal properly for several weeks afterward. According to the article, bacteria can then seep into the bloodstream and build up in blood vessels resulting in the type of inflammation that increases the risk of stroke or heart attack. Basically I was a classic case waiting to happen. And, I do believe this is what happened. (I believe it’s probably what caused the neuropathy on my left side as a precursor to the stroke).
I don’t feel any sense of blame towards anyone, nor any sense of things needed to be done different. I feel no need to touch any “what ifs”. No one could’ve known. I made peace with it having been under God’s hand a long time ago. But I must confess…. I feel a certain sadness for all of the trauma of these last months, and yet, there’s a part of me that finally feels vindicated as well (read about why HERE).
See, the funny thing with having a stroke is the underlying sense of people blaming you for having a stroke. It’s unspoken for the most part, but is always kinda there underneath. You didn’t see a doctor enough..you didn’t have your blood pressure under control..your blood sugar was too high. You didn’t do this..or you shoulda done that. In one sense they’re trying to be kind, but it still comes down to somehow it must be your fault.
But this wasn’t my fault. This was no one’s fault. So, what do you do with that….?
You look at Jesus.. and be weak. And be okay with that. And live out from there.
They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces will never be ashamed. Psalm 34:5