Patience in Suffering

Yesterday was a good day. A really good day. Today is not. Bad night…. so bad day. I was talking to the Lord about it and complaining a bit, and feeling the familiar frustration of one step forward, two steps back. He whispered to my heart that I needed patience. That brought me up short.

Me? 😧

I’m always the one talking to others about not running from the need for patience. You know, everyone jokes how you shouldn’t pray for patience cuz you know what happens… you’ll get tested! I’ve always been the one to preach: ‘don’t run from it, step into it, cuz that’s where spiritual growth lies’. And now, You’re telling me I need patience?? Lord…. 😥

It was so easy to say such before the stroke. Even in very hard stuff like getting crucified and persecuted, I walked through it much easier. I even pursued it then. But since my stroke, it’s soooo much harder to land there, and live there. It’s one thing to suffer spiritually and to have your eyes opened to what Christ went through and to see you’re experiencing the same. It’s another to suffer physically in your body and to have no let up for weeks and months on end. I want to be better NOW. I want to be more functional NOW. I DON’T WANT TO struggle and hurt anymore. I don’t want to be a burden to others anymore (namely, my husband). NOW. I want this NOW. now.

Yet, both are what God has asked of me. The spiritual suffering to be like Christ. AND the physical suffering….. To Be Like Christ.

He reminded me how Patience is the fruit of the Spirit. Jesus lives in me. His Spirit is in me. So….. the ability to be patient in this physical suffering is also in me. As it was for Christ in His trials.

I’m not alone. He is my Helper. In Him ….and only in HIM… I can do this. Yes, even on bad days like today. 🤗

Hebrews 12:2 let us run the race that we have to run with patience, our eyes fixed on Jesus the source and the goal of our faith. For he himself endured a [spiritual AND a physical] cross and thought nothing of its shame because of the joy he knew would follow his suffering;

James 1:2 -4 My brothers and sisters, you will have many kinds of trouble. But this gives you a reason to be very happy. 3 You know that when your faith is tested, you learn to be patient in suffering. 4 If you let that patience work in you, the end result will be good. You will be mature and complete. You will be all that God wants you to be.